After the Dust Settles

Whew! What a whirlwind month it has been! Planning a huge event like our Grand Opening was overwhelming, but so much fun for me. I love planning and organizing, asking for donations and thinking outside the box. It’s fun to get those creative juices flowing and see what cool things you can come up with to get others excited, too. The event turned out awesome and we even have a few people interested in signing up for our services. We have tons of food left over and nothing can be returned. I guess that means we’ll have to have another gathering soon! Decorating the yard got my husband in the landscaping mood, so our front yard is looking, oh, so beautiful now. Flowers and shrubs, trees and even some Bird of Paradise! The trees are all mulched and we have a new mailbox, too. I can’t wait to see our landscaping bill.
But now, the dust is settling and the fun is over. It’s time to get back to “full steam ahead” and move mountains again. We can take that same excitement and put it into our daily affairs. We were awarded a certificate from the Chamber of Commerce congratulating us and recognizing our membership and commitment to our local community. I’ve had it put up on my wall in front of me with a piece of the ribbon from the ribbon cutting ceremony. It’s to remind me to take a little bit of that excitement and put it into each day. It reminds me to be creative and find alternative ways to accomplish things. To look for others to help me and to brainstorm constantly. It’s a mode that you get into. My aim is to stay in that mode and make the most of it. It’s an air of productivity. I can’t afford to lose it.
It’s great to feel the relief of the deadline being gone and the anticipation of making everyone happy off my shoulders. There are still a few projects that are underway, though. We are making a video that features a lot of footage from the Grand Opening. We are all anxious to see how it turns out and how we look on camera. We also have a new logo under design. It’s about a quarter of the way done, so we just have a glimpse of it so far. Just enough to get our appetites whet for it. these things will keep some excitement in the air. Now if I can follow through with some new students faces to carry on the enthusiasm.
New students have a way of bringing new life into the classroom. They bring new laughter, new jokes, a new perspective and teach us new things. I can’t wait until we meet our next student. Who will it be? Your son or daughter? I hope so!

 

Missing Louie

I knew I should have put up a fence! He was such a beautiful and loyal friend. My Louie is gone. There’s so much about him that I miss. His loyalty was unsurpassed. Every time I woke up in the night or morning, he was there, at my bedside, tag wagging. He would talk to me in a groaning way that was so sweet. He would jump up on me and kiss me. I would hold him like a baby and he would fall asleep, comfortably, in my arms. He let me treat him like a baby, but he was his Daddy’s boy. We all knew who his Master really was. He followed Ed around endlessly. Without exception, Ed had a furry white shadow. Louie waited for him to return every time he left home. If Ed were gone too long, Louie would start to bark at me, letting me know that it was time for Ed to come home. He was so smart. And he was a great guard dog, too. I never had to worry about knowing whether someone was here or not. Louie would let me know long before someone every got to the door. Yet, he was friendly to strangers. He never growled or acted offensively toward strangers as long as they were our friends, they were his friends. He was a family dog. He had a relationship with each member of the family that was special to that family member. Jace’s was a love-hate type of relationship that involved tail-pulling and kisses and mine was a mothering and babying type relationship. My sweet baby is gone. I miss him so bad. I keep holding back tears, crying, holding them back. I wish I could write him back or draw him back. Pray him back. It makes me so sad and so sick.

Missing Louie…

 

ADHD Kids More Likely to Use Drugs

A study shows that Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder affects about 4.1% of adults and 9% of children between the young ages of 13 to 18 years in the United States. What they found from this is that, as the rates continue to increase, the youth that are diagnosed with ADHD are likelier to abuse drugs than normal teenagers.

Like me on Facebook

ADHD and ADD are usually treated with stimulant medications like Adderall, Dexedrine, Vyvanse, Concerta, Metadate CD, and Ritalin. The issue with these medications is that they are often abused. Researchers learned that just having a disorder without being medicated also influences young teenagers to try and abuse illicit drugs.

Obviously, the medications that are used to treat ADHD have the potential for abuse, but the vast majority of children with ADHD do not develop a substance abuse problem,” said Dr. Michael Duchowny of the Miami Children’s Hospital, in this CBS News article. “More research has to be done to find out why some children are more susceptible than others.”

The researchers sought to find out whether children with ADHD are more likely than their peers to develop substance abuse disorders. This includes patients who were given treatment with stimulants and behavioral techniques (psychotherapy, education, or training). 27 of the analyzed studies from 2011 revealed that those who suffered from ADHD were likelier to try drugs and abuse them. Those with prescribed drugs were less likely to engage in such behavior.

The researchers believe that it is common for ADHD patients to struggle in school, which is why they may resort to drugs to escape anxiety about their struggles academically. Not only may their performance in the classroom influence them to abuse drugs, but also their social life, however there is no cause-and-effect relationship between abusing drugs and social life.

The best way to alleviate the symptoms of ADHD and better one’s quality of life is through counseling. Medications can help but the patient and their guardians should be aware of the its use and the repercussions.

This article reprinted from Design & Trend Magazine, July 2014.

 

Are We There Yet? – Road Trips With Child with ADHD

So many people travel for the holidays, and for most, things will go pretty smoothly. But for the parents with children who have ADHD, traveling can turn into a nightmare. Children with ADHD are very routine-driven, and airports, long car rides, and strange hotel rooms can rock their sense of order. That can lead to tantrums, tears, and turmoil, making the journey harder for everyone. The following are tips to help you manage your holiday travel with your child with ADHD:

Make sure your trip is well planned. Create a master schedule for your trip and make sure your child has one, too. It can include breaks, stops, hotel stops, sight-seeing stops, etc. It will give them something to do as well as allow them to know what to expect next, giving them a sense of control. Consider your child’s “best” times and plan events around those times instead of when you know he or she will be getting tired or irritable.

Talk about your rules and your expectations. The same behavior rules should still apply on the road as at home, but there may be new ones as well. Talk about using a public restroom, staying in a hotel, etiquette in a relative’s home, or other things that you think may come up on your trip. Plan for them and discuss them before you leave and while you’re on the road. This can help prepare your child for the event and prevent unnecessary embarrassment for you.

Be prepared. Don’t forget to bring the medication and alter the times it is given as the bedtime is adjusted. Bring some familiar items on the trip to give your child security and help him or her sleep better. Bring along some activities to do while in the car. Computer gadgets are the best, I’ve found. Just don’t forget the charger! Lastly, create a reward chart for the road and reward your child as your go along with souvenirs and t-shirts, etc. for behaving and doing well.

Don’t forget the ADHD. When you stop for breaks, try not to overstimulate your child by running and playing – it may make it hard to calm back down. Take slow, calm walks instead. And keep complimenting your child. Everything they do right deserves a compliment, because it took effort on their part. So thank them and tell them how proud you are of them.

These tips can help you to have a smoother ride and a nicer trip on your vacation this holiday. I hope they help your family. I look forward to your feedback.

Supporting the Supporter

Being late; rooms in disarray; tantrums; meltdowns – the parents of children with ADHD face a multitude of issues everyday, and that’s what it takes to get through a normal day. Just think about what it’s like when their child is having a side effect to a medication that isn’t working as it should, or when the teacher has decided to rearrange the whole classroom without involving the children – those days can be even worse. The parents of ADHD children have so much to handle, it’s amazing they can keep their own sanity. What can we do to help?

Education is essential. First, we can help educate parents about ADHD and how the symptoms of ADHD can affect their child. Knowing the causes of ADHD and knowing about normal child development can empower the parent to know what is normal and what is happening because of ADHD.

Give the parent tools. Next, we can give the parent tools to work with when dealing with issues of behavior. Tools that will help them remain calm under pressure, tools that will help them discipline without anger, tools that will help them be persistent and tackle one issue at a time. The parents need all the tools we can provide for them. We use counselors, psychologists, nurses, and caseworkers to empower the parents with as many devices as possible that will help them overcome the negative effects of ADHD.

Comfort from friends. Also, we give the parents a sounding board. Everyone needs to be heard, so we listen to the parents about their experiences and trials. We allow them to express themselves in a private, confidential environment. No one is judgmental and everyone wants to help. It’s good to just be able to let go sometimes.

Resources and referrals. Finally, if a family is in need of services from other sources, we try to help. This group of leaders is qualified and trained in finding resources for families. If parents will voice their need, we will do our very best to triage and research the options to find a resource that will meet that need. We want the families with children who have ADHD to have all the resources they need.

So, how can you get all this? Come to the Parent Support Group Meeting. I need all of my readers to spread the word. The next support group meeting will be held at Children’s Medical Services, 2390 Phillips Road, Tallahassee, FL 32308 in the first floor conference room at 11:30am on July 11, 2014. There will be refreshments.

 

Depression in Teens

Everyone goes through periods of sadness from time to time. When we lose a loved one or a beloved pet, or if a long friendship is in danger of breaking up, or if divorce is being contemplated. Anytime we have the fear of loss in our lives, we can go through periods of sadness and that’s perfectly normal – for adults and teens. But depression is quite different. Also, adult depression is different from teen depression and manifests itself differently in teens. To be able to help our teenagers most effectively, we need to know what to look for in their behaviors and language. Here is a list of symptoms to be on the look out for to clue you in that your teen is experiencing signs of depression:

• Bouts of frequent sadness, tearfulness, crying
• Significantly decreased interest in activities, inability to enjoy previously favorite pursuits
• Persistent boredom, low energy
• A feeling of hopelessness
• Poor communicative skills, social isolation
• Low self esteem, feelings of guilt
• Inability to manage rejection, failure
• Increased signs of irritability, anger and hostility
• Difficulty with relationships, even well-established ones
• Frequent complaints of physical symptoms like stomach pain, head aches
• Poor performance at school
• Absences from school
• Change in eating (usually less) and sleeping (unable to sleep or increased, excessive sleep)
• Talk of running away
• Actual disappearances
• Expression of thoughts of suicide, destructive behavior

Teenagers run a higher risk of having depression if their parents have had depression or if they have ADD/ADHD. If you notice these symptoms, don’t make fun of them, or tease them, just get them to a psychologist. It is important for you to let your teen know that you are there and unconditionally love them.  Be willing to listen without judging and respect that the pain caused by depression is real. Don’t minimize their feelings or try to talk them out of being depressed. Instead, let him or her know you are there to help and give support. Provide opportunities and support for social activities and try to get your teen to get some exercise as this has been shown to decrease symptoms of depression.

 

Helping Our ADHD-ers Get Organized

As I glance around at my desk, I’ve got 6 lists, neatly arranged with times and dates assigned to each task in orderly arrangement. I didn’t set it up for this blog – it’s just the way I’m wired. You can find my desk like that most of the time. I spend a good portion of my time planning and executing, planning and executing, systematically. However, this is far from how the mind of our ADHD-ers work. Their minds are moving very fast, jumping from one thought to another, double-timing thoughts on top of one another. The idea of separating them out long enough to write them down and assign times to them is out of the question. We have to intervene to help them get a grasp of the many thoughts they are having and help them to organize those thoughts.

One way we can help is through training them to ask themselves questions. For instance, we can sit down with our loved one with a pen a paper and help them make a list of things they need to do on the next day, or things they need to accomplish, or whatever the list might be. We simply ask them the question: Do you need to do your homework tomorrow? Do you need to do your chores tomorrow? Which chores do you have to do? Which chore would you like to do first? and so on. Keep asking questions until the list is made. Don’t be pushy and be ready to take your time. This calls for patience.

Another way we can help them get organized is by using colors. The ADHD mind is very visual and it is helpful when things can be easily matched without a lot of thinking or reasoning. For example, set up colored crates in their room. Everything that goes in the red crate needs to have a red sticker on it. Yellow crate, yellow sticker, and so on. This method can work in setting up filing systems, too. Let each subject have a different color. Cover the text book in that color, let the folder be that color, the highlighter that color, and so on.

The third way that helps the fast-paced mind is through using technology. A PDA can be a Godsend for the ADHD-er struggling with getting organized. They can set appointments, keep up with assignments, record notes, and many other tasks with the PDA. It’s even a great tool for setting alarms and reminders. If there’s one thing the ADHD-er is known for, it’s being late. So this device can even help with that dilemma. PDA’s run about $130, but it’s a great investment in your sanity if it can help your loved one get clarity in their life.

In conclusion, these three suggestions can help your loved one feel more secure by having more control over their environment and can, therefore, help you to feel like you are actually bringing some comfort to them. It’s hard to deal with ADHD, but know that there are others out there that care.

Cynthia~

Grand Opening Event

Today’s blog is about the reason I haven’t blogged in the past two days; because I’ve been so busy with getting prepared for our next big event – our Grand Opening! I’m going to do the taboo today – advertise in my blog. I want to tell you about the Grand Opening Event that’s consuming me right now.

The Event will be held on July 25, 2014 on location of the Homeschool Classroom at 2908 W. Lakeshore Drive in Tallahassee. It will start at 9a and run until 3p. There will be signage everywhere announcing “Grand Opening, 2908 W. Lakeshore Drive, 9a – 3p” along the streets in lawn signs. There will be press releases and radio advertisements leading up to the day of the big event. On location, there will be a big banner on the front lawn announcing “Grand Opening / Open House, Everyone Welcome” waving from the trees.

You can park at the very nearby hotel and a van will bring you to the event, for your convenience. At 9am the event will start with introductions of the DJ, the hosts and a nice big batch of Otis Spunkmeyer cookies. You can enter to win raffles for a $50 Wal-Mart gift card, two tickets to Six Flags over Georgia, and two tickets to Wild Adventures. At 10am, we will have a door prize giveaway by drawing your ticket number. The door prizes are bags filled with goodies including business card holders, a dictionary/thesaurus, candy and other goodies. At 11am, the Ribbon Cutting Ceremony will take place by the Greater Tallahassee Chamber of Commerce. The Mayor will cut the ribbon and say a few words. At noon, we will have another door prize giveaway and we will also have a kids entertainment show featuring the Dance Trance Teens. Other teens are welcome to showcase their talent on the mic as well. At 1pm, we will have a Pop-A-Shot Challenge and award the $50 Wal-Mart gift card. At 2pm, we will have another door prize giveaway and have the drawing for the Wild Adventures and Six Flags tickets. The Lincoln High School Marching Band will be performing at 1:30pm.

As you can see, the day will be filled with activities. We haven’t even told you that we’ll also have an inflatable boxing ring, sno cones, hot dogs, Kool Aid, and balloons everywhere. We’ll have a remote radio broadcast from 1:00pm until 3:00pm. And our local weatherman is coming to do an on-location weather report, too.

These kinds of events take a lot of planning, organizing, and talking with local business owners. So, I apologize for missing a couple of blogging days. Please forgive me. I wish you all could come to the Grand Opening Event. I hope it brings me some customers and gets me noticed in the community. It’s going to cost me about $1200 to put together. I’m trying to cut as many corners as I can, so if you have any ideas, please let me know. I’d appreciate any thoughts you might have.

Cynthia~

What’s In a Name

In so many walks of life we meet many people. As homeschoolers, we meet other moms, many children, and teachers. As small business owners, we network and meet hundreds of other small business owners and customers every week, if we’re doing it right. So what’s the big deal in remembering everyone’s name? What’s important is that you can recognize their face if you see them again, right? Wrong!

“A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” – Dale Carnegie

One basic way that we can show a person that they are important to us is by using their name. Calling someone by their name tells them that you care about remembering them, personally. Many of us are Christians, so we can relate to the Bible and God did it. At Exodus 33:17 he said, “I know you by name.” Not a hard task for God, you say. Well, what about Paul. Paul concluded one of his letters by greeting more than 25 brothers and sisters by name. We can do it, too.

There’s plenty of reasons we can give for not remembering a person’s name, and this blog is too short to name them all. I’ve heard everything from, “I’m just better with faces” to “I’m not good with names.” But it all equals the same thing: I’m too lazy and don’t care enough about you to remember your name.

So, now that I’ve beat you up about forgetting names, I’ll give you some help on remembering names. Here’s some helpful advice on how you can learn to remember your new associate’s name:

• Focus on them. Look them in the eye and look over their features. Some of their features may help you to remember something about them that will trigger their name.
• Repeat their name aloud. Go on, do it. Say their name in a sentence a couple of times while talking to them. They’ll love hearing it.
• Ask them a question. It gives us a moment to hear their voice and put that sound with their name as well. Plus, they will feel important because we’ve asked their opinion.
• Repeating their name silently. Say their name in your head silently while they are talking.
• Make a vivid association between their name and something familiar to you. As you’re silently saying to yourself his or her name, link the name with something familiar to you. The more bizarre and exaggerated the visualization, the better.  The other person will never know your image, so make it a memorable one.
• Conclude by saying their name. As you leave the conversation, remember to say their name one last time.

So there’s no excuse now for each of us to say the others name after our first meeting. it will make your associates feel very important and will make you seem like the businessperson or friend of the year. It’s a simple step, why not take it?

Hi, my name is Cynthia…

 

The Man Behind Me

With Father’s Day passing yesterday some will want to write about how wonderful their fathers are, but not me. My father is still alive but he’s nothing to write about. Oh, c’mon. I know there’s a lot of you with mouths wide open giving me the wrinkled eyebrow because I should be glad my father is still alive and I can still tell him I love him and he’s the only father I’ll ever have, and so on… but blah! My father is a sexual predator. He preys on little girls. Now, do you still think I should be glad he’s alive? It could be your little girl that he preys on next. Like me, you probably wish he were dead now, don’t you?

Not to mention that after he last stint in prison and he began to suffer from erectile dysfunction, he got a “blow up” penis. So now, he can blow it up to whatever size it needs to be to terrorize the next victim. Should I be glad that he’s still around so I can tell him Happy Father’s Day? Ha! No thanks!

It’s mortifying just to admit that I am his offspring. I had to do it in a blog, to strangers, because talking about it to my family is so difficult. My children hate him. They think of him as, just what he is, a monster. But they have him with bulging eyes and long hair and story book features, when really, what’s really scary, is he looks like the next guy, walking down the street. He’s clean shaven, combed hair, shirt tucked in neatly, and carrying a load of money. He smiles a lot and he’s very charming. he’s a little girl magnet. He carries candy everywhere he goes and promises of circuses and merry-go-rounds. He’s every little girls dream. he gives you his undivided attention and makes you feel like you are the only person in the room. Just like the Devil.

Be careful Moms and Dads. The world is full of my Father. They are lurking behind skating rink bleachers, playground swing sets, and all the places you think are safe. Don’t let those precious little girls out of your sight. Not for a moment. He is very sly. He can make them think that their relationship with him is secret and important; more important than telling you about it. It starts with a kiss on the cheek, a horsey ride on his knee. It’s utterly disgusting how it all progresses. I know about it because I made him confess to it, and I know because I was a victim. Don’t let your child go through the pain, the violence, the guilt. Listen carefully, ask questions, be strict about “loving” uncles and friends, and don’t let your child’s innocence be taken away.

Just a word from me to you… I hope it helps in some way.